Eavesdropping is Okay

One of the things in writing that I'm actually good at is dialogue. Through lots of practice, discussion, and hair-pulling-outing, I've come up with lots of tips and methods for writing dialogue. 

Something that happens a lot in books—especially YA and upper-middle grade—is inaccuracy or unrealism. Sometimes characters will say things to each other that people just don’t say to each other in real life. 

Like, how many times in real life do you hear people say things like, “Come on, everyone, we have to put the sword back in the cave by midnight or else the world will explode!” Dialogue has to feel real to readers, or else it’s ineffective. 

Here’s an example from a very, very early draft of my book, The Knowers:

“Can you stop skipping already? It’s annoying.”

“Oh. Sorry.” I try to make my walking more methodical, but the day is just so beautiful. We’re no longer at the mercy of the bus. Our little brothers are ahead of us, racing each other. They seem to be moving faster than normal, possibly a result of the sunshine. “It’s just so amazing out! I swear I saw a robin this morning. I mean, it’s about time. It’s April.”

“I know, it’s nice not having snow,” Hallie says. “And having a day with something to be excited about in it. That doesn’t happen a lot.”

“Every day’s exciting,” I say. “Yesterday was a full moon. I think that was nice.”

“That happens every twenty-eight days. That means it doesn’t count.”

I sigh a sigh made half of awe in the weather and half of boredom with everything but the weather.

“Did you watch Shadowhunters last night?” Hallie asks me.

“No,” I admit. She’s been trying to get me to watch it for a couple weeks, but I always forget when it’s on. “I was reading.”

“What could be more important than Shadowhunters?” 

“I was rereading Harry Potter. Again. Sorry.”

Okay, I can’t be the only one who thinks this is boring, and have you ever head anyone say, “I think that was nice”?

Now, here is the current version of this scene, which is (hopefully) an improvement:

“You’re skipping.” 

Hallie and I can finally walk to school again. The very last snowman-cores have melted and the air smells like freshwater with twinges of fish from the river. I soak up the feeling like a sponge, the cool air warming up my chest and my arms through my sweater. The whispers of leaves on the trees against a milky blue sky and the squish of mud beneath my feet—I’m walking on grass for that reason—ignite a smile on my face.

“Oh. Sorry.” I try to make my walking more methodical, but the day is just so beautiful that I can’t contain myself. We’re no longer at the mercy of the bus. “Everything is just so springy today, and I swear I saw a robin this morning. Surely, it’s about time. It’s April.”

“I guess it’s nice not having snow,” Hallie agrees. A very tiny smile dances on her face, but she doesn’t let it show. “And having a day with something to be excited about in it. That doesn’t happen a lot.”

“Every day is exciting,” I say. “Yesterday was a full moon. That was slightly unusual.”

“That happens every twenty-eight days or whatever. Doesn’t count.”

“Still. It’s somewhat interesting. And soon there’re going to be dandelions—”

“Oh, fun, weeds my mom’ll make me pull.”

“No, they’re flowers.”

“They’re weeds, Skylar.”

“Well, then they’re beautiful, flowering weeds, Hallie.” I sigh a sigh made half of awe in the weather and half of boredom with everything but the weather.

“Think we’ll get a pop quiz in global today?” she asks.

“I hope not. I forgot to do the reading. What was it on?”

“Can’t remember. One of the Henrys, I think. The one with all the wives.”

“Oh, must be Henry the Eighth,” I tell her. “Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived. If we can remember that, we’ll be fine. That’s practically all of French history.”

“Henry the Eighth was English.”

“Oh. Well. There goes my global grade, then, slipping through the cracks between floorboards.”

This conversation is more realistic than its predecessor. Two teenagers griping about homework is pretty common, and they don’t sound like robots: their words are what normal teenagers would say (with the exception of some of Skylar’s dialogue because that’s just her character).

The best way to figure out how people really talk to each other is to listen in on people’s conversation in public places. Yes, I’m basically asking you to eavesdrop. (Usually conversations in public places are the least private, so I’ve deemed it okay ;) ) That way, you can listen to people have normal conversations without any preconceived notions about what it’s about: if it’s gossip, you don’t know anyone; if it’s about school, you probably don’t go to that school (unless you’re listening in at school); if it’s about a movie, then you have no idea what other movies that person likes. You just get a straight conversation between two people.

Good luck with your eavesdropping, everyone! I hope you hear some funny stories.